The Red Tetris
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: They had started out as individual squares, and over time they had become the shape that fit the other. Not to mention, Lisbon really didn't want to land on Rigsby. Or Miles Thorson. A Jane/Lisbon crossover - The Mentalist and Tetris - that came out of a conversation with my friends on Twitter. I regret nothing. Warnings for orgasmic frogs.


**So…my sister and I found out there was Winnie the Pooh fanfiction, and then a friend, Amber, told me that there was Tetris fanfiction, so then a few of us started reading it. I found one where one of the L shaped tetris pieces wanted tea, which made me think of Jane…so then they told me I should write Jane and Lisbon getting together as Tetris blocks.**

**So yeah. You're probably still judging me, but at least you sort of know where I'm coming from now.**

**DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to other people. I just borrow them to take my great liberties.**

Lisbon was dropped from the assemblage at the top and flipped herself sideways to see below. She groaned. Below was the Z shaped figure, sitting upright, of Wayne Rigsby. In the corner, standing on end, was the tall, straight Miles Thorson. And on the right side, sitting by the wall with his back against it, was the backwards L shape of Patrick Jane. He smiled up at her. "Lisbon! I'd wave, but apparently pixel blocks are denied arms."

"Go to Hell," Lisbon said. "I'm not landing on you."

"Come on," Jane said. "If you don't, Cho might. Bertram might! I saved your life, you owe me a personal favor."

"I paid that back when I saved _your_ life," she pointed out, shifting herself one more set of blocks to the side and changing her position again, standing on her head as she inched closer to the blocks.

"Okay, do yourself a personal favor," Jane said. "Miles Thorson never got you a pony for your birthday. And do you_ really_ want to land on Rigsby?"

"Miles Thorson could get me a pony," Lisbon said, inching one block closer. She was glad it was the beginning of the game, when the blocks moved slower. She had more time to think it over. Or maybe that's why she hated that it was the beginning of the game. She wasn't sure how she felt about this yet. She was trying to come to terms with the fact that considering her shape and his, Jane was the best option. Part of her was happy and part of her still wanted to fight it. Because that was how she behaved around him.

But she really, really didn't want to land on Rigsby. She didn't want to have to hear him babbling on about pots and kettles.

"Why would Miles Thorson get you a pony?" Jane asked. "You don't know Miles Thorson!"

"_You_ don't know Miles Thorson!"

"_Nobody_ knows Miles Thorson," Jane said. "That's the whole point."

"Boss," Rigsby said. "Please don't land on me. That'd make me rather uncomfortable, especially since our pieces really aren't good for each other."

"Everyone and the Attorney General can see that," Lisbon said. "Jane, what pieces are coming next?"

"Uh..." Jane's eyes rolled back as far as they'd go. "Looks to be the orgasmic frog - which is another thing I got you, by the way, and you're welcome - and then Cho, Summer, Virgil...I can't see beyond that. Your options are limited, Lisbon, looks like you're going to have to pick me." He grinned. "You know you want to!"

"Dude, she's blushing again," Rigsby said, grinning over at Jane.

Lisbon had only one set of tiles left before she'd be resting on one of them - it was too late already to choose Thorson, but that didn't concern her, she didn't even know the guy - and faced with the prospect of not making the decision, she rotated once, twice, and then settled, her sideways L on Jane's sideways L, so that they formed a rectangle. It was the best option, really, the shapes that they were had, over time, shaped them into the most efficient - and sensible - option.

"There you go, Tetresa," Jane said jokingly, smiling. "Now get the orgasmic frog to land on top of us."

"Why?" Lisbon stammered.

"Look at what's coming after it," Jane said, and Lisbon noticed the team members and former boss waiting to descend into the game region. "I have a point."

"But..."

"But nothing," Jane said.

Lisbon nodded. "Frog! Come here!"

The frog hopped one set of tiles down, toward Jane and Lisbon.

"Is this a good idea?" she whispered.

Jane shrugged. "We're here. And we only have until 'game over'."

**Hope you...is it too much to hope that you like it? :P And the 'orgasmic frog' for those that don't know the story already, is the 'origami' frog Jane gave Lisbon in the pilot. Amber had a pretty hilarious typo one day... :D**


End file.
